Two Thousand and Six Pennies.
A top ten movies of 2006 in March of 2007? Really? Hey, that’s just how I role. (And, uh, I wanted to wait until after the Oscars were over? Yeah, that’s it, yeah… the Oscars.)
According to my ticket stubs and blog posts I went to the theater 23 times in 2006. Two of those were retro outings, though (Sleeper and The Nightmare Before Christmas… in 3D!). So that’s really only 21 times. And actually, two of those movies I saw twice (Little Miss Sunshine and Superman Returns… in 3D!) So really, I only saw 19 movies this year. That’s, for those of you playing at home, down from 37 in 2004, and 25 in 2005. Damn. I blame the pirates! Yar!
So officially more than half the movies I saw in theaters are on my top ten list. Kind of gay, but really, I only try and pay for movies that look good to begin with, so really it’s the best of the better to begin with anyway.
That being said, there’s always a worst movie of the year. Even amongst the cream of the crop are a few, uh, not so creamy spots? I don’t know. Point is, The Illusionist was pretty bad (Stephen Millhauser, represent!), but only on account of it dragging out a predictable twist ending. Caché (Hidden) was apparently good, but I thought it kinda sucked. Even more drawn out than Edward Norton and company. So I guess that leaves Ultraviolet. Like Stealth last year, it may seem a little obvious to be hating on Milla, but this was really bad. Really really bad. It got a 7% on Rotten Tomatoes, and I think even that’s a little generous. So that happened.
Anyway, as for the real top ten… per usual there are a lot of movies I didn’t see last year. Never found a convienent time to watch An Inconvienent Truth. The Departed never, uh came into dock? I went and saw The Illusionist instead of Half Nelson (true story). And while I kept up to day on all of my Brangelina news on Best Week Ever, I never got around to seeing Babel. So this isn’t your be all and end all 2006 list. But it is mine. And since I’ve already written blurbs about most of these movies, I’m just going to repost what’s already been written (in italics). I hope you don’t think me lazy. I’ll try and make up for it with the four new movies, okay?
And… go!
#10: Little Manhattan – Clearly funded by the New York City Tourism Bureau; if you don’t want to move to Manhattan, or at least visit there and spend lots of money after you see this, you’re a stronger man than I. Bradley Whitford couldn’t even resist. Could you? (Incidentally, since seeing the Little Manhattan, I’ve found out that it was the first film to sport the official logo of the New York Mayor’s Office of Film, Theater, and Broadcasting… so there you go.)
#9: The Science of Sleep – It would be impossible to top “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”— and I think Michel Gondry knows that— but it doesn’t stop him from trying… and trying all by himself at that. No Charlie Kaufman helping out this time, and sadly it shows. Actually, I shouldn’t say shows, because the film itself is gorgeous… it’s the plot that was lacking. Still good though, and extremely charming.
#8: 8 Bit – Number 8, appropriately enough. I mentioned 8 Bit in passing back in Dorkfest in October. I hadn’t seen it at that point, but I’ve seen it twice since… and it’s quite good. The movie is sort of two movies in one: one about the general video game art scene and the other about the chiptunes scene. I think the directors’ intentions were for the movie to cover the widest breadth of the nerd media scene possible, but really since they spend so much time on the music side of things, it would have almost made more sense to make a whole seperate movie out of that. If you’re going to spend 45 minutes on the chiptunes scene and another 45 on everything else put together, why not just go all the way? Also, why no iam8bit love? Still, entertaining and informative, and not really as dumbed down as you’d expect a movie pertaining to a fairly exclusive club would be. Good times. In fact, I think I’ll go listen to some Bit Shifter right now.
#7: Stranger Than Fiction – It wanted to be written by Charlie Kaufman and directed by Michel Gondry, but, well, it just wasn’t. Still better than a solo Michel Gondry outing. Also, I must say I rather like subdued Will Ferrell. Don’t get me wrong, I like crazy Will Ferrell, but like Jim Carrey, Ferrell can go both ways and pull it off convincingly. Oh, and Maggie Gyllenhaal is smoking hot.
#6: A Scanner Darkly – It’s a total mind trip, and while it certainly could have been done without all the rotoscoping madness, the animation just makes the whole thing that much more surreal. Philip K. Dick is the man, and Richard Linklater has an amazing range as a director. Oh, and Robert Downey Jr. and Woody Harrelson should probably have a sitcom together if they ever need drug money later in life. Comic gold.
#5: Borat (Insert Ridiculously Long Subtitle Here) – Unlike Snakes on a Plane, I feel like Borat lived up to the hype. It was hilarious, if only on a naked-hairy-man-wrestling level. (The DVD comes out Tuesday. It’s unrrated. I’m afraid.) But beyond that, it also made for good stories. Like that time I tried to go see it opening night with some friends, but it was sold out, so we drove to Harlem looking for a bootleg, only to find even the bootlegs were sold out. And when we finally did manage to see it on Sunday of opening weekend, it was at a sold out 10pm showing in Queens. Ridiculous. Sacha Baron Cohen… we salute you.
#4: Thank You For Smoking – Aaron Eckhart carries the film, but J.K. Simmons, Rob Lowe, William H. Macy, Maria Bello, David Koechner, and Adam Brody all put in great performances as well. Particularly J.K. Simmons and Rob Lowe. And Sam Elliott as the Marlboro Man. Genius. It had me right from the opening credits.
#3: Little Miss Sunshine – Everything you’ve heard about this movie is true. First and foremost, it’s hilarious. After that, though, it’s also perfectly cast. Greg Kinnear is great, as is Steve Carell. Toni Collette and Paul Dano also do a great job, but neither of them have a lot to do. The real standouts for me are Abigail Breslin and Alan Arkin. They’re both fantastic, and really set the movie over. (Enough for Alan Arkin to win the Oscar… thank christ… and hey, best screenplay too.)
#2: Wordplay – I’m not sure why I liked it so much… maybe it’s because a dude from RPI plays a prominent role in the film, maybe because Bill Clinton and Jon Stewart show up and they’re both left-handed, but I think the main reason is because crossword puzzles are awesome. I didn’t know this going into the film, but I’m quite certain now.
#1: Children of Men – I’m a sick bastard, I know it. But what can I say, it was damn good. And horribly depressing. And frighteningly prescient. I think the best way to describe this movie is “it’s always darkest right before it goes pitch black.” Which is to say, every time you think things are going to turn around for Clive Owen and company, they just get worse. I don’t want to give away anything, I don’t even want to discuss the plot, since I think it’s best to go in not knowing anything, but suffice it to say, don’t watch it if you’re looking for a pick me up, but do watch it at some point. I will say this, though… this stork is delicious.
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